You know those little messages that lurk at the back of your mind that you tend to ignore, but they remain and continue to harass you?  Some call it instinct, but they are those little niggling doubts or messages.  So I'm wondering if I should really pay attention to this one (or, maybe I should have titled this "Waiting for the other shoe to drop.")

I've been very lucky over the past year in my quest to get my weight down and my diabetes under control.  My weight is nowhere near where it should be, but I have lost 30 pounds.  And although my A1c still is in the diabetes range, it's considered good at 6.2 (American College of Endocrinologists recommend < 6.5 to prevent complications, while the American Diabetes Association recommends < 7.0).

On the other hand, my thyroid is all whacko.  I am taking 100 mcg of Levothyroxine and it seems to be working (I'm not tired all the time and my metabolism seems to be working correctly.)  But at my last endocrinologist appointment, my endo told me the results of my thyroid ultrasound.  He said I have three 'nodules' - one was 1.5cm.  He said anything over .5 cm and they recommend a biopsy.  (That's another issue - his office was supposed to get it set up and it's been 3 months and I still haven't heard anything so I'm not sure if they wanted to wait until my next thyroid test results came in, which were scheduled to be done in late Dec but which I didn't get to until today.)

So this keeps sneaking into my thoughts.  I sometimes feel like there is a skin from a popcorn seed stuck in my throat and when I'm lying in bed, sometimes it feels like something is pushing on my throat right above my breastbone.  I keep thinking that my thyroid is swelling up to ginormous proportions and that some night in the middle of the night it's going to choke me to death.  Then I wonder if the big nodule is malignant and what I'm feeling is throat cancer spreading.  Or that the nodule has doubled or tripled in size. But there is no pain, so I'm going to assume not.  I am hoping when my test results get to my doctor I will find out for sure about when I'm supposed to have the biopsy.  The girls in his office are not at all helpful.  I have an appointment tomorrow with my GP so I'll talk to her about it, too.

So that is the little niggler in my mind.

I got a call from my boss today.  Evidently while I've been on vacation, our office has been putting a ton of time into one particular client.  Now that client is refusing to pay because they claim the problem was not theirs (that is debatable - they were told to use a dedicated server but they are using a shared server and having problems now with memory leaks.)  So the company (8 total employees including the owner) is having cash flow problems.  I expected him to tell me he was going to have to lay me off.  But instead he said he would only be able to give me half my pay.  I told him that was acceptable considering I just got back from vacation and didn't work the full pay period anyway. But this leaves me wondering...

He said if we get over this 'hump' things will pick up.  We have prospects and work scheduled for late January and ongoing.  But I'm skeptical now.  He won't go out of business.  He's been doing business for 40 years and has weathered worse storms.  However, he has also cut and grown his staff as the economy dictated.

I sent out five resumes today.  I will miss working from home.  I am hoping that this one 'half paycheck' is just this one time and things will return to normal, but now I feel like I need to keep my resume updated and out there.  I have plenty of marketable skills.  The only thing I don't have in my skill set is having my skills apply to the automotive industry, which is still the main industry in Michigan (especially in the area in which I live.)

Just bought this (Dodge Durango Crew AWD).  They are discontinuing them after this year and reintroducing the Grand Wagoneer.  I like the Durango so I figured if I want one, I had better get one now.  We got rid of Roger's Dodge Avenger.  We decided to trade that instead of my Camry because my Camry has 0% interest.  The color is much darker blue.  In the garage it looks black.  Out in the sun it looks midnight blue.  Chrysler's color name is "True Blue".  Looks like I won't be retiring when I reach 59.5 years of age (haha, and after having bought my house, I didn't expect I would, anyway!)  We got a nice discount since Roger works for Chrysler

My husband got me this Guitar Lesson system for Christmas.  I started off doing his free online lessons and liked them so well I added his home DVD system to my wish list.  I went through the first DVD yesterday and learned quite a lot, even considering I have taken 4 semesters of guitar classes at community colleges.  Two semesters in strumming and chords and two semesters in reading and playing from the music.  This combines both, plus other techniques that I wanted to learn (like bending notes, 'hammer on' and 'hammer off', palm muting, bar chords, power chords.)

He also got me this really cool picture frame. I haven't taken a picture of myself playing my guitar yet, so the frame is still empty.

This is probably as close as I'll ever come to a VLog.  

I thought I lost this video forever!  I found it on one of my old external drives  So I uploaded it to YouTube.  Although I get pitchy in the middle, it is sung from the heart to all my friends. (I recorded this in 2006 I think.)

I can't wait til Christmas morning!  My sister is going to be soooooo surprised!

Before Thanksgiving, I told everyone to create a "Wish List" on Amazon.com.  I went through the lists and pretty much bought anything that wasn't ridiculously expensive (for instance, I didn't buy Roger the custom Les Paul for $1800 and I didn't buy his son his $800 amp or his other son his $500 car part - don't even remember what it was.)  Anyway, Roger's sons are hard to "surprise" because they have such a narrow focus of likes.  Ben only wears black jeans and black tee shirts and hoodies.  Dan only wears stuff with the "Element" logo.  So we can't buy them clothes.  So they pretty much are getting what they asked for.

My sister Debbie (who is living with us), on the other hand, is FUN to shop for.  She loves everything!  And of course she has an older sister with GREAT TASTE lol.  So Deb put on her list that she wanted Trans-Siberian Orchestra tickets.  I told her that without knowing her boyfriend's schedule for that night, it would be impossible to get her the tickets.  But I bought them anyway,  for the matinee show on the 29th so even if her boyfriend has a gig that night, he can still go to the show  Roger and I are going, too.

She is also using the same wireless company we are for her telephone.  They were having a buy one get one free sale and since she is on a month to month plan right now, we were going to switch her over to our plan (on the family plan) and get her a new phone (with her knowledge.)  So we called and found out that Roger's family plan was maxed out.  Although he could have up to 10 lines with his company discount, he could only have 5 on his family plan, and we already had 5.  So we told Deb we couldn't do it.  But while in the store, we talked about his mom (actually Jan's mom, so not really even his ex-mother-in-law because Jan isn't really his ex.  What do you call the mom of a deceased spouse after you remarry?) and taking her off the family plan but keeping her as one of our ten lines because she uses a flip phone and doesn't need all the fancy stuff that we all have with our smart phones.  So now we have added my sister to our plan (with a new phone number, that, before we found out about the five-member limit, she was okay with.) and a new Galaxy III smart phone.  So Christmas morning, Roger is going to be playing with his phone like he's playing his bubble burst game.  When I give Deb the package with the phone in it, he's going to call her number

I also got a Galaxy III phone.  So far I like it.  I hope it takes better pictures than my Galaxy S phone did!

While singing in Frankenmuth Sunday, my chorus was captured on film by a professional videographer! I had no idea!

Fenton Lakes Chorus from David Bark on Vimeo

I've read some blogs and posts and tweets that blame the lack of God on today's ills.  As if being an atheist means you have absolutely no morals or values.

For some atheists, atheism is a religion. They are evangelicals.

I've never liked evangelicals because they 'preach' that their way is the one and only way, whether through "the word of God' or "logic" or whatever.

I am a different kind of atheist (and probably the most common kind - the ones you never hear about).

• I DO believe in the golden rule.
• I DO believe in freedom of religion - the freedom for everyone to have their own religion or none at all.
• I am NOT offended by a Menorah or a Nativity Scene. In fact, I like the things they both stand for. (And I don't know enough about many of the other religions to feel offended by them.)
• I am not offended by Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or "Happy Winter Solstice"!
• My own atheism is not a religion in and of itself. It is the total and complete lack of religious beliefs.
• But it is NOT a total lack of morals and values. I agree with some of the tenets of religion. For example, many of the ten commandments. 

Not believing in something doesn't necessarily mean acting on that disbelief.

I don't believe in ghosts, but I don't preach about it or ask others to suspend their belief just because I don't believe in them. I am just apathetic about the whole thing. I am mostly apathetic about religion. I am okay with you or anyone having a religion. It's just not for me.

I'm okay with someone liking pea soup. I don't like it so I don't eat it, but I won't stop you from eating it (although I may leave the room if you do! LOL)

It's like not having kids. I am childless by choice (I felt I would make a bad mother because I will admit I am too self-centered to give the kind of attention to raising a child that is required, although this may have changed if I found myself in that situation.) People tell me that I don't know what I have missed by not having children. They are exactly right. I don't. I also don't know what I have missed by not having a pet iguana, or having owned a Mercedes. I don't know, and I don't even think about it.

Not all atheists are evil people who are just pushing their agenda.

I've known Christians who get totally offended by "Happy Holidays" or would protest if a Menorah were put on public display. I've known other atheists who feel as I do - they have morals and values and live by the golden rule. I was taught to be this way by an agnostic mother and atheist father.

I did attend church as a child.  I went to Sunday school in Baptist, Pentecostal and Presbyterian churches.  As a young adult, I took classes in Catholicism and attended a Catholic church for a couple of years and even sang in the church choir.  My disbelief didn't come lightly - it was really always there. I was really never a believer even though I became a "born again Christian" on March 12, 1968 just a few weeks shy of my 12th birthday, and became a Confirmed Catholic in April of 1983, just a few weeks shy of my 27th birthday.  I WANTED to be a believer, but I just couldn't.  I graduated from a Christian college and studied world religions and most especially the New Testament of the Bible.   Even going through the rites /rituals, reading all I read, seeing the history of the Judeao-Christian church (as well as a few others) I am still not convinced (nor am I looking to be, so this is not an invitation to proselytize!)  But one thing I do know.

Atheism ≠ a lack of morals and values. 

...I might just fall for this.  But I'm not LOL  This is a publication paid for by the people whose names are in the book.  It's a vanity publication and means absolutely nothing.  I might think otherwise if I didn't have to pay for my own listing.

I have to admit, the first time I received one of these (about 15 years ago) I did check into it.  And found out it was just a directory listing in which people had to pay for their listing.  Such a scam!  And probably just a mailing list to be sold to the highest bidder. 

Sheryl,

 It is with great pride I announce your candidacy to be published in the time-honored "Who's Who" publication of professionals and executives. We are dedicated to the recognition of excellence, spotlighting men and women who strive to achieve their goals and are making a difference in their respective fields.

We request that you submit your biographical profile A.S.A.P. to ensure our Editorial Director can coordinate and work with you so we may meet our publishing timetables. Once completed our clients and additionally our member roster will be able to consult and do business with you.

We wish you much continued success.

Marcy Kingston
Publishing Coordinator

Seems my other picture didn't show for some people.

When I first went to Guitar Center, I looked at this Guitar.  But when I looked at it closely, it looked scratched up.  I told them if they had a new one in the back I would take it.  They didn't.  

So I looked around and found this Fender Strat (Mexican made) and decided to buy it.

So I got it home and had buyers' remorse.  It was a nice guitar, but wasn't the one I really wanted.  I decided to take it back and get the one I wanted.

I even found free online guitar lessons!