November 20, 2012
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Self Image
I have known about this phenomenon for a long time – since the first time I was overweight. It kind of goes like this:
You start gaining weight, but you still see yourself as the same person – you look at all of your positive traits and kind of ignore the weight gain.
Then BAZINGA – you see a picture of yourself and can’t believe that is YOU. So you are determined to do something about it. And you do. But as you continue to lose weight, in your mind you are still seeing that same person you saw in the photograph.
I’m down 30 pounds and I *KNOW* I look different – because people have told me so. Then why do I still see myself at my old weight when I look in the mirror? Maybe because I’m not yet perfectly proportioned height to weight. I don’t know. BUT… last week at chorus the assistant director videotaped us doing some choreography (we’re preparing for next April’s regional competition in addition to rehearsing upcoming shows). She uploaded the link (sorry, can’t share – it’s a private site) and I was astonished to see myself standing up there on the risers. I really DO look smaller! People weren’t just trying to make me feel better!
Of course, I should know this, since I went from wearing 2X in plus sizes to XL in regular sizes, and went from an 18WP in jeans to 16P (and with the way they are fitting, edging closer to 14).
Being sort of an mesomorph – being short and muscular – I want to get back down to a size 9/10. Anything less than that is way too small for me.
And really. I DO have a six pack under this keg. Just gotta get the keg outta there so the six pack can shine through
Comments (6)
Congrats on the weight loss! 30 pounds is a fantastic loss!!! and yes, I am quite familiar with the phenomenon you are talking about. I lived with it for the many years I lived with my 100lb weight loss…but now that the weight is back on (with a few extra lbs) I tend not to acknowledge the re-gain until I see photos of myself. I don’t really know what to make of it, but I have learned to love myself at any size because the people that matter love me at any size.
Thank you for this. Keep up the great work! Can I ask what chorus you sing with?
30 pounds. You can feel proud.
@LindaC61 - I agree – you need to love yourself at any size – and love yourself enough to want to live a full healthy life. That’s what got me started.
@songoftheheart - I sing Barbershop with “Fenton Lakes Chorus” – a Region 2 small chorus as part of Sweet Adelines International. I love singing a capella and I love the harmonies!
@Inciteful - Thank you
I do! I just have about 40 more to go!